i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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