I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize