is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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