Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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