Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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