margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize