I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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