I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize