That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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