I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize