Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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