I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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