remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize