It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize