Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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