just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize