we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize