After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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