I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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