My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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