Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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