Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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