Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Houston, we have a blender
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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