Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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