She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize