I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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