I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize