I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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