I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize