Only a mothe r could love this liver
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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