i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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