As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
please come you make the beer taste better
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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