i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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