hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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