If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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