I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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