She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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