Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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