we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Shame - the story of my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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