I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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