I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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