TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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