with your own penis?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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