You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize