I have demons in me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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