that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Congratulations! We have a period
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize