in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
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i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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