I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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