dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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