well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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